Just letting you know, you have to stick to these steps. And I'm pretty sure I have a expertise in this department, as I didn't follow these steps (I hadn't officially created these steps when I didn't follow them, but now I look back on where I went wrong and I fully started thinking about and creating the steps). I'm pretty sure these steps will help you on keeping a secret crush to keeping that caterpillar that is living on your butt smoking dope a secret. In some steps there are exceptions, which I would put the exception in brackets.
Step 1) No telling.
Not a soul. Just family and the doctors (for that caterpillar I mean). (There are only a limit to two friends that you can gush/complain to. More than that there are more and more people that have the abilitly to tell, and more and more likely that there will be a person that will tell.) No telling people with a bad reputation of being a bitch, even if the reputation is most likely false, it's better to be safe than sorry.
Step 2) No Physical Evidence.
No writing about it in your diary. And if you do/already have don't take your diary anywhere with you. It could be lost/stolen. And don't write the secret all over your school books either (the crush I mean, I mean who would write about a caterpillar smoking pot on their butt all over their school book?).
(Unless you have ointment for that caterpillar, I would keep that, just hide it really well.)
Step 3) Don't act Embarrassed.
If somene tries to frighten/threaten you with the line; "I know your secret", act like there is no secret.
When they say that line, pretend thinking hard, pretend be searching your brain for secrets then say; "Wait, what?". (Plus if she/he told any one about the caterpillar living on your butt smoking pot, everyone will laugh and say "THEY'RE SMOKING POT!!").
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